Tips for Your Tender-Headed Child

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Young girl with very long hair looks at her reflection in the mirror.

Like many expecting parents, my husband and I dreamed of what qualities our baby would inherit from us. Obviously, she would have my curls and his thick hair. My long legs and his long torso. His eyes and my smile. My creativity and his attention to detail. The poor kid would need braces since we both wrote the book on orthodontia . . . .

And then she was born. (She looks just like him in case you were wondering.) She has his eyes. She has his smile. She has his carefree personality, love for details, and his need to know why things work the way they do. She has his brown, thick hair. Not a curl to her head. But, she did inherit one thing from me — she inherited my tender head. She is a tender-headed child. 

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What’s a Tender-Headed Child?

Having a tender head means being sensitive to touch, brushing, pulling, or any other type of tension. This is especially noticeable when brushing or fixing the child’s hair.

I remember my mama brushing my hair as a child and being in tears before we even got started. I knew the pain that was associated with the hair brush. It was also the 80s, so my curls were brushed out into a long, large frizz-do. Over the years, I’ve learned to deal with my tender head. Thankfully, these same tips have worked well for my daughter’s tender head, too.

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Tender-Headed Hair Tips

  • Never brush or comb hair dry.
  • Brush wet hair only after you have conditioned and used a leave-in conditioner. Sometimes, I brush or comb before I rinse the conditioner. This makes it easy to slide the brush through tangles.
  • Use a wet brush. Start at the bottom and work your way up. Hold the hair that you are brushing at the scalp to relieve it from tension.
  • After the brush, use a large-tooth comb to comb out wet hair.
  • Apply an oil to reduce frizz.
  • Easy hairstyle (braid, ponytail, short hair). Braid before bed. This way it has less of a chance to tangle during the night. When we do this, she wakes up with waves. You can stop here or add a headband or put it in a ponytail for the day!
  • Distract the child while fixing hair. Let him or her watch TV, play the tablet, or read a book.
  • Bribe and reward. (I’m not against bribing.)
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Below are my tried-and-true tender-headed hair tools and products:

Wide-tooth comb:

What are your tender-headed hair secrets and favorite products?

Mary Bost
Mary grew up in the suburbs of Birmingham, Alabama before moving to a farm in northwest Arkansas. She attended the University of Arkansas where she received her Degree in Architecture that she proudly holds but has never used... (she meant to). Instead, she feeds, clothes, and chauffeurs her kids to school and various activities. Mary writes a blog, Trust Without Borders, where she shares about motherhood, life, and her favorite thrifty finds! When not mommin', you'll find her watching Netflix, thrifting, eating peanut M&M's, exercising the M&M's off, pinning pins on Pinterest, and Instagramming pictures of her kids and random other things and events!



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