More time together, more coparenting, more chore sharing…these are just a few reasons why quarantine has been the best thing for my marriage.
My husband and I got married at a very young age; we were the ones who had to “growi up together.” When you combine two lives no matter the age, there are bound to be some growing pains, whether that be finances, cross-county moves, or in-law drama; there are things that need to be addressed. My husband and I have been in marriage counseling since before we even got married because we understood how difficult marriage was and needed to learn how to address some of those previously mentioned “issues.”
A global pandemic and a resulting quarantine were not what I thought we would be dealing with when we started our life together…and I think it is fair to assume I am not alone in that boat. Of all the things that marriage already requires, a pandemic just seems like a cruel slap in the face. But there have been something really great things that have come from this quarantine—it has strengthened my marriage. Throw in a toddler to manage and pregnancy, and things have been challenging, but also so much better than I could have imagined.
We Have to Work Through Our Arguments In Person, Quickly!
Do not get me wrong, there have been plenty of moments where I wish I could escape and go literally anywhere else besides the same house my husband is in, especially when we’re in the middle of an argument. Sometimes you just want to go to Target and do some retail therapy, am I right? But since going out is more of a matter of necessity these days, we are forced to stay within the confines of our house and backyard, and since we don’t live in a mansion, this leaves us with little room to escape having to actually talk to each other and work through our conflicts.
Since we’re both working from home during this pandemic, we do not have the excuse we sometimes would to hang up the phone when we were mad or having a convenient “work emergency” to use as an excuse to avoid talking to each other. That’s not to say work does not still come in the middle of an argument, but it is much different when we’re together all day, every day.
Because We Have A Closer Glimpse into the Other’s Day
Before this pandemic, my husband was gone all day and I worked from home part-time while also staying home with our son. Now, he works from home and can see closer into our daily routine; the victories, the setbacks, the temper tantrums, etc. It has been good for me to see into his life, too; there is a lot of stress that comes with his job that I was unaware of before. We have learned to appreciate the balance of work and family life together so much better than we did previously.
We are able to tag team a lot more chores and house projects, too, which is very helpful, especially since I am currently 39 weeks pregnant and a lot of physical tasks require a lot more effort! Due to quarantine, we were without childcare, which meant a lot of rearranging had to be done in order for me to get anything accomplished for work.
We figured out a really good system, where I had a few hours in the morning in the office to work as well as time in the evening, while my husband entertains and keeps up with our busy two-year-old. That system has really helped both my work life and my mental health strong during this time.
Because Date Nights Have to Look Different
This is one that most couples can relate to during quarantine. We have always been more the “take out and a movie at home” couple, especially since becoming parents, but quarantine has changed our date nights, too. We’ve had to get more creative during this time, which has been a good thing! Some of our favorite things were going to antique malls, having breakfast at a local favorite diner, and catching a movie at the theater. Since all of those things are off the table and childcare looks very different, we have had to change up date nights. Now, they look a lot more like putting our son to bed a little early, having a meal together, and a movie already queued up. It’s simple, but honestly, they have been some of my favorite date nights.
Overall, quarantine has brought my husband and me closer, made us better communicators, and made us better parents. That’s why I think it has been such a good thing for my marriage.