I’m a Lazy Tiger Mom and proud of it. You may be asking yourself, what’s that exactly? Is it a new fictional mom on TV or a social media parenting technique that’s the latest craze?
I recently read the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua, and this book talks about how I, apparently, was supposed to be raised. It explains how Chinese parents basically believe that their child-rearing skills are better than that of Western parents. Chinese parents believe in a strict, no-nonsense upbringing for their children. Hours of studying and practicing instruments, from a very early age, with no room for error.
Tiger Moms set high expectations for their children, like straight A’s no matter what, proper behavior in public settings all the time, endless practice of musical instruments, and a respectful attitude towards their parents. Tiger Moms will compare their children to other children, publicly bragging about their kids’ accomplishments wherever they go. Tiger kids are always under the microscope, being watched and guided every moment of their lives.
I’m an ABC, American-Born-Chinese, and my parents immigrated here from China to go to college and start a new life in America. My parents weren’t complete Tiger parents; they were actually considered radical in their upbringing of my sister and me. We didn’t go to Chinese school on the weekends and we didn’t play any instruments. Our weekends were consumed with soccer, tennis, Girl Scouts, and play dates with friends. We did have to be respectful to our parents and followed strict rules when it came to eating and respecting the elders in our family.
I have two boys and I try to raise them with some of the same values and customs. I want my kids to have some of the same attributes a Tiger Mom expects: to be smart, ambitious, and respectful. But I’m lazy and don’t have time to watch my kid to eat peas and carrots for an hour!
A LAZY TIGER mom wants the best for her kids but doesn’t want to sacrifice her sanity or her kids’ overall happiness for the pursuit of perfection.
I’m not going to force my kids to play piano, or join chess club or practice writing their name 100 times. My mantra is: Let kids be kids, let them explore outside, let them make their own mistakes, and find their own passions in life. Being a Lazy Tiger Mom, to me, means that my kids are loved, safe, are allowed to be themselves, and enjoy being a kid.
