I’m talking about good quality alone time. I’ll explain.
It took me a long time to find the art of alone time- I spent four years as a single mom and this meant slim to no alone time, but then again, I also wasn’t looking for it. I didn’t realize how important it is to give myself time to recharge and be really alone until I had a weekend without my son (his dad’s weekend), without my fiancé (guys’ trip), without Sunday church and brunch (family on vacation). It was a rare weekend alone with no family in sight.. for days.
I literally didn’t know what to do with myself because I have always had multiple plans almost overlapping continually, rushing around packing lunches, school trips, carpool, work, play practice, grocery store, meetings, you name it- the list is always piled sky high every second of every hour of every day with everyone around.
The “just-me weekend” gave me time to reflect (sleep in) and recharge. It was a weird feeling at first. I had a glimpse inside what could be the future and I took a moment to let that sink in. Someday, Caleb will be out of the house in college. With tears in my eyes, I realized that it’s just 8 years away. My fiancé will be my husband and there will be times we are apart, when he is traveling for work, golf trips with friends, etc. There will be a day we don’t have pets in the house. I was surprised I had the time to ruminate on the emotions of hey, I miss these awesome people.
Then my mind went into self-improvement mode. “Why do I let myself get stressed out, angry, tired, always feeling behind, or not enough?” I spent the weekend thinking through deep emotions and sorting through how to make myself a better me.
I went to the gym, made a healthy grocery list and stuck to it. Went shopping and changed up a part of my tired wardrobe that needed updating desperately. I cleaned out the clutter I never thought I would get to in a million years (underneath the sink and the old makeup bins. I ended up throwing out 90% of what was there and NOW I have a clean cabinet). I got so much done that weekend that I realized how important it is to take incremental time for myself on a routine basis.
I am literally a happier person when I can just be me for a time to sort out the mess I let build up because I put everyone and everything before me.
Since the just-me weekend, I have found pockets of time that are paying off and it is truly to make me even better. A better mom. A better fiancé. A better dog mom.
10 Ideas Just For YOU
- Morning workouts. At 5AM, the people in the house are still asleep. I have mixed up the mornings through an app called Class Pass and it sorts by time. This has been a game changer for my overall health.
- Schedule a massage. I haven’t done it. I am writing it here to hold myself accountable. Schedule it and go pamper yourself!
- Do nothing.
- Sit outside and drink tea or coffee. Morning time, bird chirping, serenity.
- Painting. I started furniture painting after watching dozens of YouTube videos. Ambitious but fun AND refreshed an old piece of furniture.
- Listening to podcasts. Listening to others have conversations is a great way to unwind all on its own.
- Reconnect with old hobbies.
- Indulge with a new recipe. Preferably dessert.
- Shopping. All the places kids and hubby whine about.
- Start a blog. This is a great time for reflection, self expression, and helping others!