The Lies We Tell Our Kids

 In the history of parenting, the little white lie has always existed. They say that necessity is the mother of invention. And boy, have parents ever needed this. Because being a parent is hard, y’all. And sometimes, to be brutally honest, it sucks. Think of the temper tantrums at the grocery store, the wild and completely-out-of-nowhere refusal to eat their favorite food, the car seat zombie, or the tall tales told to their teacher that could warrant a visit from social services. If we as parents need to conjure up some little white lies to make life with our thoroughly adorable beauties bearable, then it’s worth it.

Here is a crowd-sourced list of some of the lies we at Collin County Moms have told our kids:

Dead Pet

Before the kids got up, I noticed that Benny the fish had died. After I flushed him down the toilet, I told the kids that he went missing. We went to the pet store and luckily saw one that looked exactly like him. “Ah, there you are, Benny!” I said aloud. “You can’t go out swimming without telling us again. Let’s get you home!”

woman in white long sleeve shirt kissing girl in white long sleeve shirt

Little Lies

Kids tell lies like it’s in their DNA. I used to tell my kids that their noses would grow longer (thanks, Pinocchio) or their eyes would turn red for just a second before turning brown again. The truth would emerge immediately!

Sharing Food

Sometimes as a parent you just don’t want to share your food. You want to be able to eat like a regular adult without having to spoon feed little Jimmy every five seconds, right? So, when the inevitable little hand would hover over my plate, I would sometimes tell the kids that it was spicy or that there was mint in the food (something they detested at the time). Worked like a charm!

Devices

If I am sick and tired of the kids fighting over the TV, internet, or any devices they share, I invariably tell them that the internet is “broken” until further notice.

This works with annoying toys that need batteries, too. Everything is broken.

Sorry we're closed signage hanged on glass door

Kid Places

Some days as a parent, you just want to chill at home. Going out with little ones is exhausting and time consuming, not to mention the traffic! Whether it’s the swimming pool or that local trampoline place—sometimes you just need a break. So when you feel like this, it’s okay to tell them that these places are CLOSED.

Innocently, the only lasting consequence of all of these little white lies is one more topic of reminiscing for our children. For me, it’s happening already. It usually starts off with,
“Remember the time you used to tell us…” I never know what they are referring to. Good times!

Little white lies have been tried and tested by parents for many years. It helps, of course, that little kids don’t how to read and will luckily take everything you say as the absolute truth, not to be questioned. It’s magic!

Seriously, enjoy it while it lasts. Soon, they will be fully grown, with ridiculously demanding jobs. And subsequently, between all of them, they will decide on which nursing home they can afford to put you in before you know it. So, don’t feel that guilty. Have your fun now.

Please share any little white lies that have worked for you!

Dymphna Keohan lives in Frisco with her husband,Paul, and their four children, (16yrs-21yr old). Originally from Ireland, Dymphna has lived in Texas for over 20 years. She works full-time as an inclusion teacher for Frisco ISD, and at the weekends she tutors and gives guitar lessons. Dymphna and her family are avid travelers and enjoy finding out fascinating things about the cities they visit. As a stress reliever, working out is her fuel, and like a crazy person, she runs six miles a day! More often than not, she flies by the seat of her pants, but loves every minute of it!

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