Inside the Brain of this Stay-At-Home Mom

“I want to be a Mom.”

That was my answer every time someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I have waited my whole life to be a mom. I love kids and have worked with kids in some capacity since I was 11 years old. The little years are my absolute favorite! I know, there are lots of moms who don’t feel that way, but that’s what makes us unique and life so great! We can help each other out from each of our strengths.

With my great plan, I headed off to college and assumed I would get married right away and begin living out my dreams of being a mom. Life went a little differently than I had planned, though. I did not get married until I was in my late twenties, and then we experienced infertility. I am SO thankful that I now have two boys, but it was not without a lot of difficulty.

The first few months of life with my newborn were blissful. I was finally living out every dream I had hoped for and waited on. Becoming a mom has been everything I wanted and more. There is not a day that goes by when I don’t look at my children and feel joy and gratitude.

But.

There was this feeling that I didn’t anticipate. All those years when I was waiting and hoping, praying, and dreaming for this mom life, I was working. I was pursuing other dreams and careers, exploring my passions, and pushing my creativity. I was studying and earning degrees in school and enjoying pushing myself to learn new things.

As a stay-at-home mom, I miss that. I miss pushing myself, seeing goals met on a daily or weekly basis. Accomplishing things that move a company forward. Interacting with adults to solve problems and create something beautiful – that I could see within a month or two!

This feeling took me a while to process. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I anticipate being anything but happily content to be a stay-at-home mom for the rest of my life.

This is not about the role of a stay-at-home mom versus a working mom. This is not about any of that ridiculous debate over if one is better than the other. We all know BOTH have value, significance, and a place. Our children will be happy and proud of us because we choose to do something that matters to us. Our children will be content and have good self esteem, self awareness, and all those other good things because we chose to do what was right for us and because we taught them to bravely seek what they desired, with confidence. This is not about what moms choose to do with their time or their status of employment.

This is about what works for me and how I feel and what I want for my life. In the same way that when you or anyone else makes this decision, it should focus on what works for you and your family and your life.

I love being a stay-at-home mom, but I don’t know that I will be one forever. While my children are little, before they’ve entered elementary school, I’m enjoying this sweet time.  After spending years with other people’s precious littles, I am getting to be with my own!  While I don’t see a lot of results from my work in a week or two, or even in a month or two, I do recognize things are changing.

Just because I’m a stay-at-home mom today doesn’t mean I’ll be one in 10 years. Then again, maybe after 10 years at home, going back to work will make me miss home life!  Who knows. I am the last person to think I can plan out my life. Like anyone else, my job does not define who I am now or in the future. It is part of my story. So this stay-at-home mom is learning contentment and find joy in every day moments, wherever they may occur. It is a special and hard-earned gift.

How about you? Are you a stay-at-home mom, work-from-home mom, work-outside-the-home mom, full-time working mom, part-time working mom, or somewhere in between?

 

Julia Wallace
Julia and her husband moved from Southern California to Texas in 2014. They love exploring their new home state and finding fun things to do with their two sons who were born in 2015 and 2018. She studied Theology and Fine Arts in college and enjoys using that unique combination in daily life! She’s spent many years working at her church with women, children and youth ministry. Before moving to Texas she owned a dance studio where she loved to help people realize their passions and talents in dance and acting. She is now enjoying the daily adventures of Mom life while writing about faith, family life, photography, and healthy food on her blog, SouthernMercy.wordpress.com and on Instagram @jewelswallace. Recently, she and her husband have started on a Foster to Adoption journey and are looking forward to the adventures that await.

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