How to Make Mom Friends as an Introvert

A woman in bed looking at her phone.

It’s hard for introvert moms like me to make new mom friends. Making mom friends should be as easy as introducing yourself and saying something like: “You have a baby. I have a baby. We should be friends!” Still, the thought of putting myself out there and possibly being rejected outright is downright terrifying!

Here are a few ways I’ve made mom friends as an introvert, as well as some tips from my mom squad.

1. Join a Community Group on Facebook

If you live in the burbs, chances are good there’s a dedicated mom group near you. Collin County Moms has several community groups on Facebook divided by region, and a few by topic. Within these groups, someone (usually an extravert) will plan a meetup or event that you can join. And for when you’re feeling braver, you can plan a meet-up or playdate, too!

Besides being incredible resources for common questions, I like these groups because I feel less alone. It’s a low-risk way to engage because I am less awkward in writing. And as someone who does have witty comebacks (but only hours after a conversation), expressing myself in writing probably allows me to be a waaaaay cooler version of myself.

2. Make Friends with an Extravert

Another successful strategy of mine is to befriend at least one extraverted mom. With any luck, she will introduce you to her friends — and bam! You have a mom squad to call your own.

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3. Chat at a Birthday Party

During “birthday season,” it seems like there is a party every weekend. Instead of sending your husband like I usually do, consider going yourself! It’s a great opportunity to meet others with whom you probably have things in common (besides having a child of similar age at the party). Start a conversation by asking how all the kids at the party know each other.

If it gets super awkward or if the conversation naturally lulls, you can always excuse yourself to chase after or check on your kid.

4. Volunteer at Daycare or School

I’m better at socializing when I have something tangible to do. Kind of like the birthday party, you can easily connect over why you’re there. If you need a reprieve, you can concentrate intensely on the task you’ve been assigned.

My favorite volunteer activities are the book fair, chaperoning a field trip, and helping with holiday parties.

Tip: When I use PTO to take the day off of work for this kind of thing, I use the rest of the day for self-care like a facial or massage. Win-win!

5. Say Yes

As an introvert and a person who lives a very scheduled life, my inclination is to turn down invitations, which, as you can imagine, makes it hard to make friends. My simple tip here is to say YES.

When you say yes and consistently show up (don’t be a flake!), you will receive more invitations.

>> RELATED READ :: How to Make Mom Friends in Midlife <<

For those of you who tend to over-schedule like my family does, be flexible. The world won’t end if you skip one tae kwon do class for an impromptu meet-up at the neighborhood park.

And in case this isn’t obvious, be responsive. Show you are engaged or share why you’re slow to respond to the group texts. For me, it could be because I’ve been on conference calls all day. Besides saying yes to invites, don’t forget to reciprocate and invite others to do something, too.

moms with kids in strollers at park talking

6. Show Up

It’s worth repeating that showing up may be more than simply accepting and attending events. It means you will be helpful and let a neighborhood mama try your weighted sleep sack because her baby isn’t sleeping well, and she wants to try before she buys. Showing up can look like taking the time to drop off the little Valentine crafts you and your kiddo made. Nothing needs to be fancy. The message that you want to be friends is implied.

And therein lies the biggest “secret” to making friends, whether extravert or introvert. It’s all about making the consistent effort.

Mey Ly Ortiz
The proud daughter of immigrants, Mey grew up behind the counter of a convenience store in Kaufman, Texas. After studying communications at Texas A&M (whoop!), she got her law degree from Southern Methodist University and stuck around North Texas after meeting her husband, Jason — a Navy veteran and Ironman — in a running store. While she herself has completed six marathons, 21 half-marathons, and a handful of triathlons, it was before she earned her favorite title of all, which is mom. When she is not chasing her kids, she's chasing her best self on the Peloton, devouring a book on Audible, or myth-busting "work-life balance" on her personal