Honest Moms :: The Mom I Thought I’d Be

Collin County Moms is thrilled to present “Honest Moms,” a series on authentic, vulnerable looks at motherhood and life in general: the good, the bad, and the ugly—what we love, what we struggle with, and what we are working through—all as a way to connect with YOU. We want to know what you’re going through, what encourages you, what helps in the times of confusion, chaos, and solitude. We are all in this together, and our community is a strong one that seeks to lift others up.

I don’t know what others see when they look at me, but what I see is someone who doesn’t fit into one specific “Mom-Type.” Definitely not the type of mom I knew growing up. To me, “Mom” was a person who worked full time, had a perfectly cleaned house, was never late for an appointment, and always had ibuprofen in her purse, just in case. She was present for everything and was always put together. She was there when I needed to talk and always a big hit with my friends. She shuttled my brothers and me to our various activities and always made sure we got our homework done. She was a superstar. She still is. In fact, she’s an even better Mimi.

On the contrary, I’m late for almost everything. Even this blog post is a week late. My hair and makeup are always done and my kid always looks adorable. But I keep a bag of diapers and wipes in the car in anticipation of running late. I usually forget the snacks. I take tons of pictures, both of my daughter and with my daughter. We wear matching outfits and go to lunch with our friends. I don’t carry a planner, but have finally made a habit of using the calendar in my phone. I spend too much time on Instagram and have all but given up on potty training.  

See what I mean? I’m all over the place. After my daughter was born, and even while I was pregnant, I got a quick reality check and realized there are so many ways to do the same thing. And everyone wanted to know which way I would choose to parent. Was I going to breastfeed? Would she sleep in our bed? Which method would we choose when introducing solids? Why wasn’t she potty trained yet? Why didn’t I want another baby yet? The answers to those questions are kind of like the political parties of Mommy-hood.

But why does all of this matter so much? We are all doing the same job here. Doing it differently doesn’t mean we’re doing it wrong. And newsflash, as it turns out, being a mom is hard. It’s really challenging to not feel like I’m failing when I realize I forgot something again or she tells me “No” for what feels like the thousandth time or she just. won’t. nap. Nobody comes up to you at the end of the day and says, “Good job. You’re done for the day.” The biggest compliment is when friends and family say I’m a good mom, but even so, I think to myself, “Am I really?”

I’m working to celebrate the type of mom I am, even if I don’t feel like it matches the mold I thought I’d fit into. My daughter is so smart. Strangers stop me at the grocery store to ask her age and then tell me how smart she is. She eats anything we give her and has a pretty balanced diet. She spends lots of time outside and loves animals. She does her best to say “please” and “thank you.” Every morning, she tells me we are going to go on adventures and every night before bed, she says, “I love you, Mommy!” When I step back and look at the big picture, I realize I must be doing something right. I need to take some time to appreciate and embrace the type of mom I am. Easier said than done, but it’s worth making an effort for and it’s something I encourage other moms out there to do, too. When your actions are backed with confidence, you’re much more likely to be successful. So seriously, just be you and raise your tiny humans in the best way you can. Because really, that’s the goal here.