How do you create space to focus on you and what you love while also being a present parent and loving on your family?
This question, this challenge, of being a parent and “being your more”, has been ruminating in my mind since I was a little kid myself. Of course, I didn’t know how to formulate that consciously at the time. My entrepreneurial parents both live in the Dominican Republic (and have my whole life). I was born in Queens, New York, and raised by my then-60-something-year-old Dominican grandparents since I was three months old.
Regardless of all the family details related to my upbringing, I spent most of my youth and early adult life feeling that my parents chose their businesses over me. I never envisioned having kids. I’ve realized that I subconsciously feared having to choose between my aspirations vs. my kids, or that my kids would feel like I did when I was little.
Life has a funny way of surprising us for the best, and SURPRISE, I’m now a mom of two under two.
My own experience taught me that when it comes to being more than a parent, balance isn’t key, integration and intention are. I’ve focused on our businesses with a new dedication—one that allows me to create integration between being a present mom and spouse, plus live my own “thing” outside of who I am to my family.
That “thing” may look different for each of us and can vary depending on our season in life. Whether that’s time for personal development, a hobby, volunteering, a side hustle, or birthing a business, I refer to it as being “more than a parent.”
If you resonate with creating space for yourself to be who you are, whether that’s to have time for you as a person (outside of being so-and-so’s mom or wife), try exploring these three categories and make them your own: Environment, Resources, and Community.
Environment
Create A Nurturing Space at Home
When we took Skylyn out of daycare, I knew I needed to create a new space in order to work at home that served me in my work goals AND as a parent. Within a couple of weeks, both a “play space” for Skylyn and Quest, plus a “create space” office for mama, were born!
ESCAPE…with the kids
Sometimes you just need time out of the house to switch things up, as do your kids. These are some kid-friendly places where you can both play, work, or network from:
Monster Yogurt (Their Richardson location offers special mom networking playdates!)
Or, just ESCAPE (solo)
While there’s a bunch of coffee shops around town where I can snag a spot for a few hours, there’s nothing like having a space to go and unlike when I work from home, there’s an unending supply of hot coffee, strong WiFi, adults…and reason #1 for me: inner peace when leaving my things set up while I take a bio break (because mom bladder).
VentureX The Realm at Castle Hills will be my go-to co-working space for this new year. They are just opening their doors, too! The Realm is going to have something for everyone with the vision they are building, and it’s conveniently located off of 121 and Main Street in The Colony for those of us in the Lewisville/Frisco cluster of towns.
Resources
On your next stroll with the kids or you-time at nap time, pop in your earbuds and give one of these podcasts a listen. They are all meant to support you as a parent, whether that’s being real, really funny, or fueling your professional life.
Revisiting my original question, “How do you create space to focus on you and what you love while also being a present parent and loving on your family?” I decided to create a podcast documenting real, raw, and relatable chats with others that, like us, are working on this. I’m the founder and host and would love to hear from you as the show progresses!
Community & Support
Just because you’re in business for yourself doesn’t mean you have to feel like you are by yourself.
I’ve been in several accountability groups over the past decade. Each of those experiences has helped me grow personally or professionally. This year, I want to add to that by growing my local community of moms.
The Founding Moms is an international collective of offline masterminds and online resources for mom entrepreneurs. There are Founding Mom Exchanges in over 12 countries & 60 cities…with Dallas opening up February 2020!
Every two weeks, we’ll get together to discuss biz-building topics and mastermind how to build a better business…all while also raising our littles. We’ll explore how we’re integrating “all the things” we are and what we’re up to.
I hope these help provide some new ideas and inspiration to you! I’d love to know what else would you add to this list?
