Confessions from a Social Media Sabbatical

We were sitting in church on a Sunday morning when the call went out. Our pastor challenged us to a five-day social media fast in light of increasing tensions in our country. My husband and I looked at each other, both of us hoping the other would find an excuse for us to opt out. Neither of us could. We knew we needed to do it.

My addiction to Instagram and his to Twitter needed to be put in check.

Here’s an honest, real time look at how our week went.

MONDAY

We both deleted our social media apps from our phone this morning. I won’t lie—it was a little freeing, though I admit, I fought a feeling of FOMO all day. I debated whether or not I should share about my week away. I’ve always struggled with these announcements, though. I can never decide if the person who posts that they are taking a break is looking for applause or assumes his or her followers will wonder where they’ve gone. I opted not to say anything. It felt a bit narcissistic.

Since I do run a small business, I hopped on both platforms to check my messages only. I kept it to a quick 30-second check, answered one question, NO SCROLLING, and I hopped back off immediately. My husband and I both admitted to picking up our phones throughout the day and quickly realizing we had no reason to do so. It’s almost as if we acted out of muscle memory.

My productivity today was exponentially greater than typical Mondays. Nearly 30 pages of paperwork for our foster care licensing that had been on my desk for a week were completed. I went on a long run. And I submitted a long overdue rebate form for my contact lenses. Facebook emailed me to let me know about missed notifications. I think it somehow knows I’m off for the day, which is incredibly creepy, though not surprising.

On the way to basketball practice, an ad came on the radio that mentioned Instagram. My oldest commented, “Mom would probably love that since she’s always on Instagram anyway.” That stung.

We both went to bed feeling as if we somehow had more hours in the day than other days.

TUESDAY

Neither of us picked up our phone quite as much today. I noticed several moments where I didn’t even know where my phone was, and that felt shockingly good.

I will confess that I when I logged on to check my inbox on Instagram, a video from The Dodo caught my attention. I knew I shouldn’t watch it, but the sad little dog had mange. MANGE, y’all. So I watched the poor thing get healed and fluffy and cried when he got adopted, and then quickly logged off. I mean, I technically didn’t scroll. It was right there at the top of the feed, so what was I supposed to do?! Ignore mange?!! I might be on a sabbatical, but I’m not heartless.

After the kids went to bed, we put our phones on the charger and watched Broadchurch, like actually watched it, instead of scrolling together on the couch. My husband has already declared that he won’t put Instagram back on his phone.

When I went to bed, my phone battery showed 70%. 

WEDNESDAY

This was the hardest day for me, and honestly, a bit of a turning point. I felt really disconnected from people. Since online connection has become such a staple during the pandemic, I had a major sense of loss setting in, so I fought back. I talked in person, through text, and on the phone, to multiple friends that I normally connect with online. I actually really enjoyed it, and it felt so much more authentic.

After lunch, a friend texted to see if I had gotten her Instagram message, so I logged on with the sole purpose of answering it. I didn’t scroll, but the top post in my feed when it opened was from a friend within my company sharing her 2020 sales success. She’d had her best year yet, and while I wanted so desperately to be happy for her, I will be honest: I immediately fell into the comparison trap. Less than 20 seconds with the app open, and I felt bad about myself. I had a terrible year from a business perspective.

It confirmed what I already knew: social media has an emotional impact on me.

THURSDAY

Today, I started thinking about how I wanted to put some healthy boundaries on my social media channels when the week is over. My husband noted that I had a better, more even-tempered attitude with it gone, and my productivity level was so much better, that I knew I wanted to keep this in check moving forward. It’s not realistic to never be on it as a small business owner. But there was definitely room to build in more boundaries. 

FRIDAY

I’m not going to lie: I’m both happy and dreading put my apps back on my phone tonight. Here’s where I’m starting with boundaries. All my notifications are going to remain off, and I think I’ll keep my social media folder on the last page of my phone where they are now. Additionally, I’m going to do a major purge of who I follow and ensure that the voices in my feed are only those that serve a purpose. And I’m honestly considering taking a Sabbath from the Internet one day every weekend, just to keep myself in check.

Here’s the thing: I don’t believe social media is inherently evil. It connects friends who have lost touch, helps us hear inspiring stories, and helps small businesses reach new customers. But when we are constantly reaching for our phones instead of looking our friends and family in the eyes, calling to hear their voices, or are so addicted to likes and follows that our self esteem is found there, we’ve lost our way.

If you’ve never taken a social media break, I’d dare you to consider it! Whether it’s one day, five days, a month, or a year, see how it affects you and those around you. And then come back and tell us about it!

 

Allison Ezell
Allison and her husband, Blake, grew up in Dallas and made the move to the 'burbs in 2010 when she began teaching middle school in Frisco. After attending Texas A&M for her undergrad, Allison came back to Dallas to pursue her Master’s in Education from SMU. She has a huge love of writing and taught everything from preschool to eighth grade before obtaining her certification as a Pediatric Sleep Consultant. Today, McKinney is home for her circus which includes three children (four if you count her husband) and a troublemaking lab. Allison and her husband are both passionate about orphan care and adoption, a calling that led them to their adopted son from China and to pursue their foster care licensing during the pandemic. Keep up with all her shenanigans on Instagram!