I found myself met the other day with a heavy dose of guilt as the thought crossed my mind about how dang hard being a mom is. Kids are hard, and their stuff, their opinions and attitudes, their schedules, their little personalities and needs; it all adds up and it weighs a lot.
For one low, low moment with tears in my eyes, I felt the weight of it all and let myself think of them as a burden. And then by the grace of God and huge mental shift, I found the strength to stand up and push away that ugly thought. I reminded myself just how special of a job being a parent is. And just how special our kids are, even in their worst moments. If you are like me and feel the weight of parenting sometimes, that’s okay, because we are all human. But I challenge you to take that weight and free yourself, find the good in all the crazy and remind yourself what an honor it is to be a parent. My burden finally lifted when I wrote a note to my kids.
Dear Little Love,
You are not a burden. Although Mommy finds herself many times a day feeling the weight of motherhood, you are not a burden. You are, in fact, a blessing. You are a beautiful little miracle, each and every one of you are. You were each created to be exactly who you are; flaws and strengths, gifts and all! You are not another line on my to do list; you are a priority. Mommy doesn’t always remember to stop and be present, so thank you for helping her remember. Even if your cries for attention may not be the best choices (i.e., pushing your brother, screeching at your sister, throwing a toy, and yelling “MOMMY!!” at the top of your lungs), she realizes all of these things are your cries for attention.
You, my friend, are such a beautiful part of the day; in fact, the very best part. Even on our very worst days, you are there with only love to give. Because no matter how many times Mommy may raise her voice or lose her patience, you always forgive and you never stop loving. Neither does she, little friend. She is so thankful we were made to love unconditionally because we always have so much love to give. Thank you for always finding a way to remind Mommy to be grateful.
Being a mother is a tough job. The days are very long, the hours and minutes sometimes go in slow motion. Time is tricky and never seems to align with what we want. But Mommy reminds herself many times a day to appreciate right now because tomorrow will be a new day and a different day and you will be the tiniest bit older. Mommy has to check herself and not wish away your age because she know she will miss it. She spends a lot of time reminding herself to savor each stage…the highs and lows. Because the next one will present new challenges and rewards. But no matter what, little love, you are not a burden; you are a blessing. The very best blessing!
I have come back to this letter and these thoughts many times since. I remind myself in those moments when there doesn’t seem to be any sunshine/positivity/energy/mental health left: “You are not a burden; you are a blessing.” And that simple mind shift is enough to reset myself and ready myself to be the best mom I can be to my kids that day.